I love a good movie… Everybody does! I can’t stand boring movies, but I really enjoy falling upon a terrible put-an-end-to-my-misery movie once in a while! Those are extremely rare, and I got to watch one today!!
I don’t enjoy being bored, don’t mistake me! But a mediocre movie is a challenge. I have to stay until the end, because I want to have the pride to say that I hate it “en connaissance de cause” as we say in French!
Younger, a game I liked to play was “worst movie battle”… Which consisted in going to the video store with a friend ready to get bored to the bones with me, each pick what we considered to be the most painful movie to go through, and watch the two movies back to back. We didn’t have to watch all the way through…. We could stop the tape (or later on DVD) if one of the contestants fell asleep. The movie that made one of the two doze first was the winner.
I’ll give you the name, but don’t waste memory remembering it, ok? It is called Eho, in its original German version (which is almost international, seen the – lack of – dialogues to translate).
The story; A woman apparently has a car accident, and a young man gets killed in the crash. The woman decides to trace back the young man’s family. Which brings us to the second main character, an old man apparently experiencing the first signs of Alzheimer or dementia. Of course, he is the dead guy’s dad, still living in Albania, and our Mr Passed-Away seemingly was the only living relative of the poor old dude.
First of all, I don’t recall any mention of the car accident at the beginning of the movie. Which, by all means, would have helped me understand the rest of the story. I doubt I just missed it, because the story was EXTREMELY slow to develop. I love slow paced films, but this is just get-me-that-handgun slow!
I had a feeling the film makers wanted to put the work of sound takers forward. Except a few exceptionnal (not “wow” exceptionnal, more like “rare” exceptionnal) times, no music in the background! Just the surrounding noises, and since no one’s talking (most of the time) you do notice the slightest noise….
Then, came a long series of endless scenes without the slightest trace of talking… Have you ever watched someone ironing clothes during 5 minutes? No? I hadn’t until today either, and don’t feel like you’re missing out on something. There is a reason people don’t film people ironing clothes; it is boring!
Among my “favorite” scenes… The ironing, for sure. The moment Old Man smokes a cigarette and makes himself coffee. The writing of a letter by Killer Woman (yes, they filmed the woman write the whole effing letter without letting us see what she was scribbling about – but the sound of that fountain pen scratching on the paper will surely haunt me for a while!)
Old Fart (I’m sorry… I really REALLY tried to like this movie, but I just couldn’t) apparently suffers from a heart disease of some kind, because he drops almost dead 4 or 5 times. The first and second times, I somehow managed to feel sorry, but after that, I started wishing he wouldn’t find his medicine in time!
About 2/3 of the way through, I started to look for a way to un-bore myself. I really wanted to watch the whole thing, because I don’t feel the right to complain, if I leave before the end! But there’s no rule against calling a friend, so I got my cell phone out and started bombing Linda with text messages to release some steam! Call it cheating if you will, I have NO remorse.
By then, people were leaving the room at a good rate, and my texting didn’t seem to bother anyone (I know that I would have been told to stop in any other situation). The only risk was to burst out in giggles in the best of cases, which happens regularly when we chat! But I managed to remain silent.
At that point, I was hoping both Killer Woman and Old Fart would die in the end. (Not before, because I couldn’t possibly endure less action) Despite my best efforts, and the perfect conditions (People at the Festival are extremely respectful, being silent at all times, allowing others to really sink into the story), I just couldn’t get attached to the two main characters!
And the actors are not to blame…. But poor them, they had nothing to work with.
I endured a couple of more endless scenes, one of which displays Old Fart scrapping some old recordings of him and his children by unrolling them in his backyard (some kind of remake of the typical teenage toilet paper pranking….), wrapping himself in the process! Once more, Old Fart has some kind of heart attack, but worry not! He lives to see the next day (*ughhhh*).
The movie ends in some kind of dead end. (Surprise surprise!) Not much explanation, which I also usually enjoy, when I have enough information to make my own opinion.
I enjoy the relief the credits bring me. And I think back what I enjoyed about the movie…
- I had fun with Linda, without being bothered by other people.
- I realized how long 93 minutes last. I really was aware of every 93 single one of them…
- I had time to think about important stuff I had to think about. There was room for thinking about something else.
And most of all, if I ever play “worst film battle” again… I have a winner in my back pocket!
Oh! And my other 3 viewings were really good… I’m not going to go into details, otherwise, my post will be endless…
- My Italy (Italy)
- Longing for a kiss (Germany)
- The bear skin (Italy)