Blogging · Thoughts

I am so lucky…

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Sitting alone on my favorite couch, a woolen scarf wrapped around my neck to fight autumn’s friskiness, I am thinking about my younger years…

I had a very nice childhood. I could go about and tell my favorite memories of it, and maybe I will someday, but it is not the point of this post.

As a child, and further on, as a young woman, I kind of took for granted that a happy childhood was a given. My parents weren’t rich (far from it) but we were a happy bunch and my friends’ families were, and I thought that’s just how things were.

But along the years, I have come across people who weren’t even close to being as lucky as I was. The first, probably being this young man I wrote about in a recent post. Oh, I had seen difficult family situations on tv, or in books, but that was fiction, and there’s always a gap between fiction and what life really is like…

I recently had the chance to have a friend of mine open up about what her childhood has been like. It shook me to see how worlds apart we were on that subject!

Usually, when you think about abused children, you imagine people turning out bad and taking their parent’s flaws for another generation round. Beated children beating their own offspring, passing on the anger and the hatred.

But she didn’t. This woman took the two generations’ load of rage that preceeded her, and left it in the past, with her rotten childhood. She found a way to lock it up in some dark attick room, and decorated the house she built for herself with bright colors, flowers and giggles lingering in the air…

How is that even possible?

We’ve known each other for some time now, and her bubbly, witty ways gave me the (false) impression she had gone the “nice quiet family life” path, just like me.

When she started telling me about the actual way she had been treated, I teared up. She was the only daughter of a narcissic woman with very low education, and a man struggling with mental hillness, that probably got married too early in life… She suffered her parent’s constant fighting for years…

I won’t go into details, because there is no need to be graffic about that kind of things. Her mother was (and still is) a bitter woman who turned her agressivness on her daughter, putting her down instead of guiding her like a good parent should. She would punish her by leaving her in silence (not talking to her) for days, for incredibly meaningless reasons. Her father was violent physically (only to her mother, thank God) and mentally, and often absent from their “home” because of his condition…

How can a six years old child be so aware of grown ups’ disfonction to ask for her own parents to separate paths to stop the madness?? At the age of six, I was finger painting, not  worrying about my parents’ relationship. Again, imagining my friend looking up to her mother, asking for them to divorce made me shed a tear…

I can’t process the fact that a child can grow up so fast that she would isolate herself from other children, knowing that she would somehow prefer to be alone than have to explain the mayhem going on in her house. Choosing to be lonely because of the instability of her parents is beyond me.

How can all this (and I am just seeing the iceberg’s tip) be true?

And where were the families, neighbours, and other adults, who could have intervened?

I am sad and angry when I think about those children who get their childhoods stolen from them. As individuals, we can’t do much about abroad countries’ children having it bad, but what about the little girl next door? There should be more awareness when it comes to this kind of abuse.

My friend is not the only one who got robbed back in her younger years, far from it… I know other people who had to grow up early to cope with a parent’s strugles with alcoholism, gambling or other flaws… People who grew up to be amazingly good human beings.

And that is why I feel thankful for my overall sweet young years… And why I admire greatly those who didn’t share my luck and fought hard to be straight, positive and loving people although they could have taken the Hate road like their folks.

I am having a warm thought for all of you, childhoodless people who chose to let your loss in the past, and built a family for yourself, preferring love over hate and even having the will to help others along the way…

You have all my admiration, my endless admiration!

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5 thoughts on “I am so lucky…

  1. So touching and insanely true 🙂
    How I have always wondered from where do these beautiful souls who have been scarred and torn apart brutally in the past fill in those cracks with abundant love!!
    They are really one strong breed of people who have abundance of love and harmony and how easily they spread it wherever they go.
    The phrase “brighten the corner where you are” holds true for such amazing people 🙂
    I’m glad that you have them in your thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree… In our times, it is so easy to succumb to negativity, that it is deeply inspiring to come across a person who was served every reason to be bitter, and still faces life’s daily struggles with a smile, even if the pain never goes away for good…

      Thank you for your thoughts 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly… I try to keep that in mind, but sometimes, I just get surprised anyway… So impressive how some people can bottle up pain, and so sad to imagine how many people around me must have stories to tell they keep for themselves….

      Liked by 1 person

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