If WordPress has taught me one thing, it is to be more selfish.
It actually is a good thing. Before blogging, I used to write mostly to please others. I did write a little bit for my own, mainly poetry, but otherwise, I needed others’ validation to think what I was writing was worth anything at all.
Then, I moved to slam. I joined a group that performed monthly slam sessions in a bar near my appartment in Trois-Rivières. Surprisingly, even as a newbie, I was welcome with open arms, and the notorious slammers I admired got interested in my work. I ended up uncounciously writing to get their approval.
After a while, it became stressful to come up with pieces that would please the audience, every four weeks. I did it for a couple of months, and I finally gave up because stagefright was sucking the fun out of the process.
Later on, when I started writing again, it was to amuse a friend of mine. Looking back, I don’t regret doing it. It started with a challenge, to write her a story based on an anecdote she had shared with me. I wrote a couple of pages every other day, and with her constant encouragements, I ended up with a near 400 pages long novel just in time for Christmas.
But I was aware that without her daily approval, I probably would have given up in the process.
It was the same friend who told me I should try out blogging. I really didn’t know anything about it back then, but she was such a cheerleader… I created the Cove and started the blabbering.
I only told a few people around me about the Cove. Those I invited in soon stopped reading me. The same people who had told me to go ahead and do something more with my words, didn’t read me… That was a bit confusing.
And that’s when I learned to be more selfish.
Some of you will probably agree that for some people, writing is like a drug. I am highly addicted to it (lol). I need my dose everyday, otherwise my finger itch and my brain keeps reminding me about the existence of my keyboard.
So I decided to keep on going, with the support of a couple of blogging-friends. I decided that writing was something I’d do for me first.
It might look simple, but at first, it was a bit tricky. I remember having to chase thoughts like “what would get me readings?” out of my mind. Those thoughts still tickle me every now and then, but I have learned to write when and what I want.
And I am pretty dang happy with the outcome.
Because the Cove might not be a 100 000 readers empire, but it is very alive. Hey! Some days, I have trouble finding time to answer all the messages that pop in my inbox, isn’t that a great problem to have? 🙂
As I told Chéri yesterday night, my readers are not a legion, but they are good readers. I know it, and I appreciate it. Really.
So I’ll keep writing. For me first… But with a little thought for all of you too 😉