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Questions only Momma asks…

I could explain this post… but Momma from “A Momma’s View” did such a good job at it, why don’t you pay her a little visit by clicking here!

Momma, if you took time to write thirty five (35!!) unsusual questions, at least one person should answer them, right? But I don’t guarantee I’ll do it seriously, though!

Here we go!

 

  1. Are you drooling when brushing your teeth? I used to… It was a big issue. Lost two boyfriends because of it. I found a solution though – I don’t brush my teeth anymore.
  2. How often do you clean your bathroom? Clean the bathroom…?
  3. Do you ever scratch your bum or you know what…? I used to as a child, but Mom said it wasn’t lady-like, so I stopped. I started again a few years back after watching Chéri enjoying a whole lot of just-for-fun scratching. I got less than appreciative comments since. It seems the “lady-like rule” still applies, and as long as I don’t grow a penis, I am expected to act accordingly… Pffff… 
  4. Do you smell your own armpits? No. I make others do it for me. I am afraid it becomes like perfume… No, not smelling good, but you know how if you have the right perfume for yourself, you shouldn’t smell it… Well, I am not taking chances, I’d rather be 100% sure my armpits don’t smell like, smelly armpits!!
  5. How long do you go till you wash your hair? As long as I don’t get a direct complaint, and you would be surprised how long people can endure you! I like having clean hair, but I love saving on shampoo money even more… Once I pretended going for rastas…  8,50$ more in my pockets! (p.s. this applies only outside Denmark… While in Denmark I am ALWAYS at my best, no matter the costs!)
  6. How often do you shower?  OMG, Momma…. do you think about anything beside hygiene?
  7. Have you ever pooed and then realized you had not toilet paper? Yes (Short & sweet! There are 35 questions, remember?)
  8. If you run out of toilet paper what would you use to clean your bum? Probably paper towels (Did you write this in the bathroom Momma??)
  9. What’s the silliest way you spend money? Probably when I put my full face hood, and hold a fake pistol while getting to the cashier, and then hand my money to the clerk very politely. Good times!! 
  10. Do you feel like the tourist nobody wants to have around when you are on vacation? No, au contraire! I sometimes wonder if someone tattooed “talk to me” on my forehead during my sleep… For some reason, people seem to be attracted to me when they need to chat. Locals and other tourists!
  11. Do you misbehave when you are on vacation (thinking spring break crazy)? No. 
  12. Have you ever vomited over someone’s shoes? No. I have once vomitted in a friend’s bed, and then rolled in it and had to go back home with a vomit sculpture on my head, but I spared all the shoes! (and yes, that friend stayed my friend)
  13. Did you ever get so drunk that you couldn’t remember a single thing? Yes, ref. question #12. 
  14. What do people really dislike about you? There’s plenty not to like about me, but I don’t think my friends and family have voted one particular thing that is unanimous…
  15. Is there something you tend to ignore in regards to your spouse? I don’t have one (spouse). Ok, about Chéri? I ignore pointless questions. Like… Door bell ringing, we’re both in the living room… Him: “who’s that??” Me: “………….” Me, in my head: “Sorry honey, my see-through-wall famous gaze is broken, today!”
  16. Do you snore? No.
  17. Does your partner snore? No.
  18. How does it make you feel when you hear snoring? It’s complicated, but it usually ends up involving tissues and a pint of my favorite Häagen Dazs.
  19. What do you do with ear wax? I always clean my ears at night, and put the wax in Chéri’s… or Freja’s… or I make tiny tiny wax sculptures.
  20. Do you play with your buggers? Yes, and we particularly enjoy the game Risk! And excellent source of giggles, plus, I get to point Denmark everytime I please!
  21. Do you check out your napkin after blowing your nose?  Yes, excellent way to find new bugger-friends!
  22. When you drop food, do you eat it still?  Depends on what I dropped the food on. If it is on Freja, it is impossible to keep still while trying to eat it… That dang kitty is just won’t stop running when she has food on her back!
  23. When you see a person that you find gross while on the beach, what do you do? Seriously, I don’t remember seeing someone “gross” at the beach. Ever.
  24. Do you like to be touched? So many factors here that keep me from providing a clear answer… Who, where, how, when, why? But! Mads Mikkelsen can touch me anywhere, anyhow, anytime for which ever reason he has… And yes, in that case, I’d like to be touched. Big time!
  25. Do you ask people how old they are?  Constantly. Chéri and my parents don’t bother answering anymore….
  26. What do you think of people who have more than 6 kids? Wow, that’s two people who have lots of kids! Are you sure you didn’t steal one of them?
  27. Have you ever told someone to pluck their eyebrows?  Nope. I don’t even tell myself…
  28. Have you kids ever asked inappropriate questions? I have no kids, which doesn’t help getting funny anecdotes in that field… But… My brother once asked Mom to scratch his butt at the bank, while she was talking to the teller. Not happy with the “I want to die now!” look on her face, he added “is tonight the night we are getting a bath?” (P.S. Mom bathed us on a daily basis!) One of the reasons I didn’t have kids (just kidding)
  29. Have you ever asked a stranger where they live? Yes… And Mads never agreed to tell me… 
  30. Did you ever pee on someones fence or next to someone’s house Not that I know of… But I am pretty sure my brother did. And I wouldn’t mind Mads peeing on mine!
  31. Have you ever watched someone while they were… well, you know… No, I don’t know. Need more information… Thank you!
  32. When you are at the gym, do you check out other people there? I am never at the gym. But I promise to tell you if I decide to go!
  33. While at the gym, do you wipe your equipment after using it? Follow, please! (ref question 32)
  34. Do you sweat a lot? Not right now.
  35. Do you sometimes put deodorant on instead of showering? Ohhh shoot! We have to choose??  I always thought I could pick both! Yeah, how silly of me… I shower AND put deodorant! Sorry!
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7 thoughts on “Questions only Momma asks…

    1. It is reassuring to see that you’re not alone, isn’t it? I laughed through your whole post… Thinking “dang! it is almost as if we had writen our replies together” Mouahahaha we must be cosmic sisters of some sort!! 😉

      Like

    1. LOOOL So glad to read that… Sometimes, I wonder if I am the only one having to deal with that kind of things… But usually I talk to my mom, and she reassures me. It seems like we got a very similar model 😛

      I had a blast answering your questions… you should do this again, someday 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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